Have you ever wondered what was the story surrounding your birth? What were the experiences of your mother and father throughout their pregnancy? All personal development leads us to first understand our history.
Our early sensory, affective, and relational experiences will lay the foundation of how we feel and look at the world around us as adults. We are born with an unfinished brain. The neocortex needs the childhood stage to develop and lay its foundations. Affection favors the release of neurotransmitters that stimulate the neuronal connections of our brain and allow the integration of its structures.
The type of attachment and relationship that we establish with our parental figures is decisive in the development of our personality. This affective relationship will generate the first pillars of our self-esteem and will determine our feeling of security or insecurity in the world. It will also be responsible for the direction of our future adult relationships.
Throughout our childhood we look for affection, approval, and calm in our parents: Our superheroes. Sometimes it will be easy to find them, and, in others, we will have to develop all kinds of mechanisms to find their gaze, their tranquility and their recognition to the point of creating a character structure that allows the child to adapt to their environment.
Educating and emotionally accompanying children is one of the most difficult and complex tasks that exist. The conflict between the needs of parents and those of their children is a constant. In addition, on many occasions parents will not be able to offer what they have not incorporated or learned in their own life experiences. However, children will demand it in one way or another, showing and confronting parents with their own conflicts, frustrations, and deficits.
Our living experiences and affections will mark our mental, emotional, and corporal structure. We are not by chance, what we are today is based on the millions of experiences we have accumulated, some extraordinary and others that, if we were given a choice, we would prefer to erase from our memory. However, each experience can become a new learning.
The unexperienced, the unknown, does not belong in our registry. When we leave the environment we learned, we realize that the world demands new formats, patterns, relational styles that we may have never experienced before. Sometimes we will feel lost, helpless, insecure or confused, and we will try to use the old methods and strategies. They will likely become our first experiences of failure and frustration.
Life is a constant learning process from which we can enrich ourselves every day. Every day of living is an opportunity to grow, to test ourselves, to observe ourselves, to let ourselves fall, to propose challenges, or simply let ourselves be carried away by what life alone can offer us.
Mindslines wishes to take and be with you through the extraordinary adventure of self-knowledge. We did it and we don’t regret it.
Connect, experiment, transform.
Noelia Valladolid Baringo (Coco)
Psychologist
